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Nice job on the "he or she" there, but the exhortation to "bring it up in a loving way" sounds to me like another way that women are expected to take on the burden of relationship management. This kind of advice doesn't really sound a hell of a lot different from advice that would have been published in the Good Wife's Guide from the 1950s (you know what I'm talking about: "Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night, buy detox (colon cleansing, natural cleanse) online without prescription. Buy detox (colon cleansing, natural cleanse) without prescription, Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day."). Compare:

If your partner can't seem to change sloppy ways, reframe the issue in your own mind. Detox (colon cleansing, natural cleanse) online stores, Instead of focusing on how inadequately he cleans, remind yourself how much you appreciate his contribution to household chores.

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But there's also something really sinister about this article in its failure to really look at the gender dynamic of so-called "irritating" behaviour. What about when "irritating" becomes, Buy detox (colon cleansing, natural cleanse) online, oh, say, abusive.

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Also in the creepy/dangerous department is a "case study" (about as real as the "case studies" in Cosmo) about two young lawyers who wanted a baby, but fought all the time (read: the wife nagged the husband and the husband responded by physically pushing her, 'cause men who use physical violence on their partners have been provoked, billige detox (colon cleansing, natural cleanse) Apotheke, right?). The couple decided in family therapy that their relationship was too violent to bring a baby into it. Wisconsin WI Wis. , But then their therapist said to the husband:

"In the future, whenever she begins to go after you and wants to discuss money—whether at home, at a party, on the street—put your hand under her blouse or her skirt and fondle her."

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Tagged as: abuse, magazines, marriage, menfolk, women

{ 2 comments }

1 Sarah McAllister 03.26.09 at 11:54 am: I got as far as #4 “Feeling Unappreciated” in the original article before I had to stop reading.

Whatever happened to the basic concept of “respect”? Or “tolerance”? Or “understanding”?

As in I *understand* it’s easier to drop your socks by the bed, but this is a big issue for me, please out of *respect* put them in the hamper.

Or I *understand* it’s easier to drop your socks by the bed, and I don’t like it, but it’s not a big deal to me, I’ll *tolerate* your habit.

I mean really – “Another way to stop a pattern of yelling is to offer constant love.” “Say, ‘You can yell, you can scream, you can do whatever you want, but I love you and you can’t get rid of me,’” Is he kidding? I don’t care if it’s a man or woman doing the yelling, the partner shouldn’t encourage behaviour that’s offensive to him/her.

What a recipe for disaster.
2 Sabine 03.26.09 at 12:08 pm: Oh, don’t be silly–respect and tolerance are concepts that are predicated on healthy boundaries! And what possible role do boundaries have to play in a relationship?

There: now do you think I could get that writing gig for Psychology Today?