Every Thursday, Confabulous’ resident lawyer Tannis A. Waugh discusses the most interesting legal issues emerging in popular culture and addresses your burning law-related queries. Want to contest a parking ticket? Can’t help you. Got a legal question for our in-house LLB? Drop her a line at tannis [at] confabulous [dot] ca. Note: Nothing in this column constitutes legal advice in any jurisdiction and is for information and discussion purposes only. If you have a legal problem, consult a lawyer in your jurisdiction immediately.
Before I get started on this week’s column, I just want to take a quick moment to say: screw you, California High Court. No, scratch that: screw you, california high court. You suck so much, you don’t even get capital letters.
On May 26th, 2009, the california high court upheld the same-sex marriage ban as a result of Prop 8. I guess I’m not really surprised, given that it was a referendum of sorts. There has to be a measure of respect for that–even if it is hateful, bigoted and anti-human rights.
When assy decisions like this occur, which amount to a step back for human rights, it makes me sad and I lose a little bit of respect for humanity–or the lack thereof in california. As a silent protest, california will no longer get a capital letter from me until the ban is rescinded. I can’t do much, but I can do that.
Now, back to our originally scheduled post.
Yes, you read that right. It says “Bunghole.” This sign hangs outside of a real business in Salem, Massachussetts called Bunghole Liquors. It is a real business. In fact, they have two locations in Salem. I would have liked to have purchased some products from Bunghole Liquors, but unfortunately, they were closed when I was there on a recent trip.
Bunghole Liquors is even funnier if you say it out loud. Try it. If you’re like me and didn’t get it even when you said it aloud, think about how it sounds: bunghole lickers. That’s right. It’s a whole new level of awesome.
Q: What does this have to do with law?
A: While note exactly a sexy legal topic, why not take this opportunity to talk about censoring in the context of business names?
Q: How does registering a business name work in a province like Ontario?
A: As a registered business myself, I have some direct experience with this (but not with the censors–Tannis A. Waugh, Barrister and Solicitor doesn’t appear to be obscene in any language). All you have to do is apply for a master business license, but you are then subject to the guidelines of the license. Let’s see if Bunghole Liquors would pass the test in Ontario, shall we?
Guideline #1: When choosing your business name, remember that certain words or expressions cannot be used.
The ruling: Words or expressions, in any language, that are obscene or objectionable in nature. Hmm…yes, I think Bunghole Liquors would lose its license on this one alone. Ruling: guilty.
Guideline #2: Words that imply the business is a different type of organization. For example, you may not imply that a sole proprietorship is a partnership. You may not use numbers or words that imply the business name is a corporate number name. Also, the registered name of a business carried on for profit should not contain words that imply it is a not-for-profit organization.
The ruling: Given that the sign appears to suggest offering the service of “licking one’s bunghole,” or asshole, as used in common parlance, I would think that this would also make Bunghole Liquors a deal breaker. Ruling: guilty.
Guideline #3: You may not use the words “Limited”, “Limitée”, “Incorporated”, “Incorporée”, “Corporation”, or the corresponding abbreviations “Ltd.”, “Ltée”, “Inc.” or “Corp.”, unless the word “limited” is used in the name of a limited liability partnership, extra-provinical limited liability company or in the name of a limited partnership formed under the Limited Partnerships Act.
The ruling: Not guilty.
Guideline #4: You may not use the words “Limited Liability Partnership” or the abbreviation “LLP” in the business name unless you are registering an Ontario limited liability partnership or an extra-provincial limited liability partnership.
The ruling: Not guilty.
Guideline #5: You may not use the words “Limited Liability Company” or the abbreviation “LLC” in the business name unless you are registering an extra-provincial limited liability company.
The ruling: Not guilty
Guideline #6: Words that are prohibited under federal or Ontario laws or words that are restricted unless the restriction is satisfied.
The ruling: You’d think this is a sexy mix of words like “motherfucker” and the like, but no such luck. It has to do with words like, “amalgamated,” “engineer,” “college” and “royal.” Nope, not guilty.
Guideline #7: Words that imply the business is connected with the Crown, the Government of Canada, of a province or of a territory, a municipality, or an agency of the Crown, government or municipality, without written consent of the appropriate authority.
The ruling: Well, given that there’s a lot of brown-nosing that goes on in government, this could potentially be applicable, but if I were the solicitor acting for the business owner, I would argue that there is a distinct difference between licking one’s bunghole and sticking one’s nose in said bunghole.
Guideline #8: Names of individuals may not be used unless they have or had a material interest in the business activity and have given their written permission. If the individual is deceased and his or her name is used within 30 years of the date of death, the written consent of the estate or the estate trustee (i.e. the executor or administrator) must be obtained.
The ruling: I’ve never met a Mr. or Ms. Bunghole but I sure would like to. Not guilty.
Q: So, how did this happen in Salem? How the heck did this make it past the censors?
A: I have an untested, uninformed theory on that. If you were deprived of watching South Park and Beavis and Butthead when you were younger, perhaps you are unfamiliar with the slang definition of “bunghole.” Maybe you think “bunghole” still retains its original definition: a hole in a cask (or large barrel) of liquor through which liquor was poured. (I had to look that up. I’ve never used the word “bunghole” in this context). It would make sense to name a liquor store using this reference because it actually pertains to liquor.
If you were a silverback-type of cenor–over the age of 50 who sees the world in black and white, with no room for nuance or humour or puns–you might take the word “bunghole” pretty literally by its dictionary definition. After all, this kind of literal approach that censors take is how a lot of dirty stuff works its way into popular culture.
I recall reading an article by the creators of South Park, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, preceding the release of the movie, “South Park: bigger, longer and uncut” about how some of the jokes that they felt were fairly benign were cut but the references that would be obscure to the average silverback but perfectly clear to anyone under 30 were not cut out to avoid the NC17 rating. There’s a reference here to this being the case regarding the title (but there is some controversy as to whether that actually happened).
So the moral of my lady lawyer post appears to be that if you come up with an obscene phrase that is obscure enough to get past the silverback, you may indeed register a business with a dirty, double-entendre kind of name.
But really folks, I wouldn’t recommend it.
Tagged as:
business,
law
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